Dear Anita

sorry for being late , but at least im writing from my new flat now , its been 2 exhausting days but finally i got settled mostly .

 I haven’t asked her about it (not since May of 2013), nor did she share, and I would like to keep it this way. their relationship was much different as you said and maybe that works for her , that made me wonder if i would have a relationship with my mom if she was alive.

about reliving the situation , i feel like my sister is constantly thinking about what happened between her and my mom and she would react to everything even slightly close to the situation back then , she was very upset once we visited her abroad to the point we my dad and i should reschedule our flight because we couldnt handle her temper , she brang past in every chance he got during 10 days visit and although i was upset i was wondering how she is living with herself if she is keeping remembering all those bad memories , i know our present was triggering for her , i know you went under therapy and you are healing but sometimes you cant help but reminding all bad memories. that can take your freedom

I had to not only peel off my mother from my life, but I had to peel off her legacy as well.that s very well said , in my case i should my peel off my both parents legacy , of course my moms is more dreading . one of my strategies is when i try to distinguish between my own voices and my mothers in difficult situation , i mean is it my own feeling or something that would my mom said which was demeaning most of the times and choosing my own .

i hope to hear from you soon

farnaz