Hi there one more time and thanks for asking,

I am very confused at this point about answering how I am.I am good at times but not all the time.I am in a new place it’s been almost two months.I guess i said I am letting it go but it’s really difficult at times.I feel intense emotions now and then.I feel distant from my parents.I do not feel like talking to anyone from my family.I have withdrawn myself from everywhere i guess.Sometimes i feel fool as I can see the truth still i am not at peace with it.There is no desire left in me for anything.I feel cursed to have this heart and also this that i end up getting used by people all the time.I really don’t see it is worth continuing.Its like my desire for joy as well has ended.Its the same feeling of being dead inside but still dragging myself throughout the day to do bare minimum things.I talk to people laugh go out attend classes of the the course I have joined but in the end i come home to this dark side which no matter how hard i tell myself but feels like it will never end.even when i know with time I will learn to live with it I don’t.I carry myself throughout the day laughing and pretending i am perfectly alright but deep down its empty and it just pains unbearably at times.

Apart from this i am alright.i guess i am just a sad person who is used to it and knows nothing better than it.I am living with suicidal thoughts all day long but i am so much of a procrastinator i know i will not even succeed in that.