Dear Lukas,

I didn’t know that you too were successful financially because of this that you said earlier:

My Partner is way better off in the Deal financially, which is fine, He is the Real founder of the Company, He put in a lot of money, but it makes me angry and it makes me feel underappriciated, so i guess the Anger is fueld by my jealousy. Im jealous of him being better of and thus i can never “overtake” him in this regard and will always stay behind and He will be better of always, this makes me jealous.

But it seems that both you and your brother are successful, running a multi-million dollar company, with the difference that he is somewhat more successful, and a part of you is jealous of that.

Another part of you is blaming and judging your greed, because you say money doesn’t make you happy (“it doesn’t make me happy, there is no value in this“). This part doesn’t value outer accomplishments and wants to be humble and selfless:

I don’t really strive for outer accomplishments, most people call me very humble and this sometimes even confuses me more, that there indeed is greed in me

So I believe there is an inner conflict in you: on one hand you want achievement and success, on the other you’re judging yourself for it. And probably the judging part comes from your “Buddhist-like” parents, who were humble but were perhaps subtly judgmental towards “materialistic” people?

I feel like I have been making a lot of progress in letting go and at the same time accepting what is there, anger, greed, and ill will and I feel like its ok, its fine to be there

This is great development that you’re not judging your anger, greed and other “lesser” feelings any more, but simply observe them and let them be.

but at the same time I help it being transformed, or I try to

In order for those feelings to be really transformed, I think you’d need to address the possible underlying issues, such as the inner conflict I’ve mentioned. I think that striving for material success isn’t a bad thing in itself, but if you only strive for that, that’s when it becomes a problem.

There are many humble and selfless people who are also materially successful. Being humble and being rich doesn’t necessarily exclude each other. It seems to me that you might have adopted the belief that humble and rich doesn’t go together, which could be the cause of your inner conflict?