dear Anita

yes , especially the first one is challenging , i`m gonna answer tomorrow

the second one too , lol

do i believe they thought they were good people ?YES , I believe they did . i think it is one thing to not feel good about yourself , but in relation to others , they felt they were kind and nice to others , im not sure about the reason but sometimes people tend to be selfish in very obvious way or some people actively plot against others while smiling in their faces , my parents didnt do anything like it , although they weren`t nice to their children they were decent people in general , ethically . i remembered choosing NICE in that context , but i know people who were too faced and pretended to be nice for a long time that they believed it after a while also people who are not nice but believe other people should be nice to them .

reads like he rejected the truth because it was inconvenient truth, for him. Whatever was inconvenient for him to admit at any one time- he rejected EXACTLY

you mean that you accepted (for a while) men who blatantly lied to you yes and not only lying but being indifferent and not actually liking me   , you know NICE guys who believed they are god gift to women , and i should do whatever takes to impress them and they are just better than me by merely existing , my parents were like that specially my mom , she thought she deserved respect without doing anything OR maybe she thought she is providing for us so thats more than enough , she thought we were her hostage and we dont have anywhere to go so what`s the point of trying to make us love her in normal mother children way

guys i met specially the last one , who should win the prize for biggest ahole of all the time , werent providing , they werent even contacting me unless it was convenient for them , i dont know what was their deal ?LOL , in my language there is a idiom: first  you have to prove that you are the child or brother if you want inheritance , these men came and they wanted to claim everything without proving anything . i didnt benefit from them only they did for a while, then why i should try to make it work ?i find out these kind of pattern of behavior early on  and i don`t invest emotionally  these days but it was so disappointing in past until i realized this is not personal , and this is the kind of people they are and they do it with everybody who let them , as i did for a while .

i`m gonna answer your first 2 questions tomorrow  Anita, have a good day

Farnaz