dear Anita

about your first question ?i mean i believed my dad was living in reality in general sense , i think we all meet people who are living in a fantasy world , people are 100% bad  or perfect , stuff magically happened without any preparation  in their world , they say stuff without actually knowing about it or judging a situation and presuming the reason behind it and be close minded about it . my mom and also my siblings specially my brother have these mindset as i said before , they believed there is only one good way to do something or one thing will definitely leads to something else , for example being educated equal to being happy or have a good life without worrying about money , well this example may applied in old days but the world we are living is not predictable. everything would change , my dad was ok with it and he lived in more peace , he knew somehow he should change instead of trying to force everything and everybody else to change, this made him happier in his life comparing with my mom and he wasnt as angry as her , i know i cant blame this mindset of my mom for all her misery , but that didn`t help her in anyway.

regarding him lie harder , i remember a situation which is still uncomfortable for me , when he got married , his wife gradually showed her true colors , she wasnt a wife material at all , she was and still is very competitive to me , she tried to cut me from my dad completely .once i was home  in summer break my dad and i was arguing over her behavior and he said very angrily that if you were a good daughter , he wouldnt get married , she was there too . it was obvious to me that he wasn`t really happy with his marriage not from that incident alone  but from another clues , once when we were alone i almost begged him to tell me the truth about his marriage , that was foolish i know  but i needed his approval that her behavior is not fair , but he was adamant that his wife is so perfect , the harder i tried he tried to complemented her and tell me she was way better that my mom , because he know that would upset me .

i just wanted to add my brother also took my stepmoms side in the past . now that she is always asking money from him and bothering him in one way or other , my brother doesnt even tell me (i know it from a relative) because he doesn`t want to give me the satisfaction of  his acknowledgement that i was right about her and i knew her much better than he did.

farnaz