Hi Anita,
Thanks for your response.

So, first thing to do is to lower the intensity of this emotional pain. One way to do so is to verbally express it, in writing (journaling), sharing about it here, and best, of course, would be to share it within the context of quality, in-person psychotherapy.

I would like to start journaling – what do you think is the good way put down your thoughts on paper? I find it difficult.
And I’m already sharing it here

For verbally I don’t actually have a group or person who have kind of psychology knowledge. I’m surrounded with people who thinks only crazy and mentally unstable people needs psychotherapy – Crazy I know