Dear Arie1276:

“I have been trying to keep the bad things that has happened to me in the past in the past!   Things like being ghosted, lied to, cheated on… So, I do have some trust issues“- the key to trusting him is not solely to heal from past trust issues, but to separate the past from the present for a moment, and look for real-life present-time evidence to trust him.. or not.

“We love each other very much and we are very open and honest about everything… Very few of his friends speak English.  I do understand my husband well.   Problem is that I don’t understand his friends.   So, when we all get together for dinner or tea or coffee, I sit there not knowing what is said.  He is my translator.  They are very nice people and very generous and hospitable.   And yes I do feel left in the dark not knowing what is being said.  They could be talking about me or not“-

– In search for evidence to trust him, or to not trust him, I ask: (1) How can you and him be very open about everything when there is a severe language barrier between the two of you?

(2) You say that you trust him but you don’t trust his friends, suggesting that they may be talking about you unfavorably in their own language. If they talk about you unfavorably between themselves.. then your husband is participating in such talks, and he is as untrustworthy as them, isn’t he?

anita