Hi Anita and Tee,

Sorry for that I can see the confusion.  My sister (I only have the one) lived at home on more than one occasion, one after the concusion where she needed full time care from all of us. In 2020 she had to move back in due to finacial issues and then again temporarely because she sprained her ancle and needed help, she received a welfare support type that wasn’t high enough to support a living and her medical bills, medication and treatment. In 2020 she was granted a different type of welfare support that meant that she was able to get her own place. She then met her current boyfriend online and after about 6 months they started planning moving in together which they did some months after that. She announced the pregnancie two days before my birthday before the 12 week mark. Her brain injury causes her to only have some functioning hours a day and she can only work around ten hours a week. The damage on her brain cuases extreme painful nonstop migranes, difficulties with her vision, and permantly nerve damage (i think they called it) in her legs so she needs botox to help stop the pain but it doesn’t last that long. If she is standing for too long or sitting she will collapse, which she did once I was at an event with her.

The tantrum she had where she started rolling around on her floor and my mother broke down was due to several things, she mas mad that I was sick and put myself first, our region was put on complete lockdown and her new boyfriend was living a two hour drive away, so she was panicking that he would end up leaving her and then she wouldn’t have children, and the final straw was me trying to put down my foot. Then everything exploded she yelled at me, then my parents I did everything that I had read about dealing with conflict (i hate conflict my anxiety goes straight up) stay calm and use I statements trying to deescalate but it didn’t work. She stormed out of there yelling, and she hasn’t contacted me unless it is neccesary. My dad then took over the mental load of dealing with me sister and driving her to all her appointments which we all share resposiblílity for before. My dad had retired at this point and my mom was on the verge of a stress breakdown with everything about the pandemic and stuff

She will have a lot of tantrums. When she is in extreme pain she will roll around pulling her hair or stabbing herself with something sharp (like a ppencil or other) to distract herself from the pain in her head. We would then have to hide her pain medicin so she wouldn’t end up taking an overdose. And then there is tghe tantrums where she doesn’t get her way, that is in a way our own fault because we never told her no, one therepist helping me with my anxiety (tapping techniques) told me to beware that once you start putting down boundaries she won’t take it lightly. That was hard because one thing is to be screamed at for putting your own life and health first, but she would then direct her anger to my parents and then it would drag them down making me feel really bad.