Dear Anita

yes and happy 230th post indeed , lol

about charles manson , he certainly would not be missed .

 I guess that’s why she tried real hard to mess up my vision, so that I don’t see what or who in front of me. thats a disgusting one but its used often by hook you , i once read somewhere *fighting against narcissists and other people with manipulative tendencies are not about the actually reason you apparently fighting , it is mostly psychological , they want to mess up with your mind and psyche so you cave . i truly believe everything happens in our mind , the way we see the situation obviously affect our emotions and reaction , if you see the situation clearly that would certainly help you to RESPOND well to it much better and not react out of desperation  , but aim of our parents were to distort the reality of ours , so we wouldnt see them at fault and we wouldnt trust our judgement , so they can manipulate and abuse us .then we would be a punching bag who are not going to resist and that would be an ideal situation for them .

 thank you, I am much freer than I used to be, not as free as I hope to be in the future. you are going to more free in future for sure . hopefully me too

as I just read the words heartless heart doctor, I felt anger at him.. and I never met him! No, I don’t think that it is malicious or cold on your part to have ended contact with him. It was the right thing to do. Also, whatever you feel does not make you good or bad. Anyone’s feelings is one’s own personal business: none for me to judge. We should judge words and actions, not feelings (or random thoughts, thoughts that happen to cross our minds, that is). thank you for your understanding , i should add about that doctor i have no doubt that he was way out of the line to say the least , and very cruel to me .whatever i said to him , he was absolutely deserving it .  i meant other people as my aunt and the step mom and other people who crossed me and took me for a sucker(i`m not sure if that word is rude or not , so correct me please ), i feel like in some cases i went 180 degree different and that was very weird in their point of vue or suddenly exploded and it was so shocking . but you are right , i should take care of my feelings before theirs .

I took a couple of hours reading about the show, aired in 2013. The crimes I read about are difficult to think about, or to imagine. It is clear to me that if society (school, social services… someone) intervened in the early lives of the convicted murderers I read about, their crimes would have been prevented: people murdered would have been alive today, and they themselves would be free to live outside a tiny prison cell where they live 20-23 hours per day, and where they are expected to live the rest of their lives. i personally believe some people are born bad as Jeffery dahmer , he wouldnt do any better if his condition of living was  different but most of criminal are not born bad , they become messed up because they have been through alot of misfortune and hardship during their life and they felt out of control and eventually that transformed them , reading or watching their past life absolutely makes me sad , some of them dont get a chance to get better life at no point and that`s just heart breaking .

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