“Turns out you are right, I’m overthinking things: she didn’t intentionally reply to me late that time, she was really busy.. stressed, so she couldn’t reply to me fast“- remember this the next time she replies late.

“Yesterday I went out with her… she acted normally.. very loving towards me, like usual. But at that stressed period of hers, she really acts very, very differently, like I don’t feel any attention from her“- it is unrealistic to expect her (or any person) to act the same all the time. Accept and Expect that she will act differently when she is stressed.

“I asked her: am I disturbing you by texting you every day? and she told me that she likes it that way, she likes it if I contact her daily, but..  that if she’s busy she might reply late“- I like it that you asked her in regard to texting her every day. When she replies to you late next time, remember that she told you (that if she’s busy, she might reply late).

“She also likes it if I hold her hands and hug her every time we meet each other on our dates“- this is wonderful, it makes me smile!

“I have that anxious attachment style. I’m reading tips on how to reduce it“- how about getting either The Attachment Theory Workbook, and/ or The Mindfulness Workbook For Anxiety. There will be more than just tips in these workbooks. These workbooks may help you a whole lot.

“when I realize at that time that I was overthinking things, that she intentionally replied late, I want to make sure that I won’t act angry like that again”- in what ways did you act angry at her before?

“but still that habit will still exist, like I will still overthink if she replies late, it’s just that I can think more positively now than before” – a workbook on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you think more positively and realistically.

“Yesterday she told me there is another guy who text her…  she doesn’t want to be with him, she wants to be with me… I know u said that there are guys who feel happy that if the girl has options but still chooses them, but it’s hard for me to feel joy if there are potential rival“- you can ask her kindly to not tell you about guys texting her.

“I feel like I’m not too manly, like I always keep asking her ‘what do u wanna have for dinner today?‘ and she always answers ‘anything is fine, I’ll follow‘, like I need to be the man and decide for her, not asking her“- instead of asking her what she wants to eat (an open question), and instead of choosing for her, you can ask her something like: what would you like to eat tonight: pizza or fish? (you give her a specific choice to make).

“I don’t have a specific hobby… If I was good at gym maybe I could invite her to work out together, but the reality is that I can’t as I’m not good at it… Should I start being more diligent now?“- being more diligent in the gym is a good idea for your own health and confidence. Find a workout that fits you personally, so that you can get better at it.

“I’m too accustomed with being isolated (being alone)…  I feel happy that my surroundings are not quiet.. and when there are people to talk to (like my cousins), I overthink less.  And now I’m back from holidays, I’m back to my isolated routine. Well it’s not that I’m overthinking now, it’s just that I prefer being in a none-quiet environment with people I enjoy and connect with“- you learned this about yourself and it is an important piece of information: you need a more interactive environment in your daily life. I hope that you find a way to make it happen: if not now, then sometime later in this brand new year!

anita