Why do i always suffer this way in relationships?

I genuinely love that person with all my heart, i even prepared a surprise for her, but this is how she treats me…. It’s really heartbreaking….

I always suffer from sadness in relationships…. even giving me thoughts “do i deserve to be happy?” Few months ago im so happy and grateful that i met her, i’d do put all my efforts and do anything to make her happy… but i ended up in this state again…. Full of pain and sadness…

Or could it be because im not as busy as her?

If she’s already tired with me, why didnt she tell me? Im confused….

I know i’d be stressful to read everything i write her, but i just wanted to express everything i felt here… cause i dont have anyone to tell….