Dear Katrine,

The girls found out about my birthday the day before, and that’s when they invited me along. It was very relaxing they took some coke

it’s nice of the girls that they’ve invited you after they’ve found out it’s your birthday on New Year’s Eve. But I don’t like it that they took drugs. Have they offered you some as well?

I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable around people who are on something, to be honest. It’s also true that I don’t have any experience with drugs, or being in the company of people who are on something, so perhaps I am too wary of it. Do you notice any difference in their behavior once they take coke? Any difference in how they treat you?

His birthday was after the yoga session on a Sunday where I was working.

Okay, so he could have been motivated by the fact that he didn’t want to date you and didn’t want to make things awkward. In fact, the reason I’ve brought it up is because you said that he wasn’t in any way obliged to invite you, to which I was thinking “well, if you invited him to your housewarming party, it’s not too much to expect of him to invite you to his birthday party”. I wanted to emphasize that, because I didn’t want you to devalue yourself and think that he wasn’t obliged in any way, when in fact, under normal circumstances, people do reciprocate these kinds of invitations.

He invited another guy from work (my close friend) and he doesn’t even remember his name, his memory is worst than any person I’ve met. Couldn’t even remember Y’s name after knowing her for three months, or a girl from work even though he had her Instagram,

That’s pretty severe. To be honest, if he has such a poor memory, how come he can work at the hostel reception? To me, it sounds like a serious hindrance. Or he only suffers with remembering names but not other stuff?

sorry for ayet another loong post. I’ve read that overexplaining is a trauma respons maybe that’s why I feel it important to give as many details as possible.

No problem. It just occurred to me that it could be related to you having been gaslighted by your sister a lot, and maybe that’s why you feel the need to explain everything in detail. Because your reality was often denied, facts were twisted and you were made to believe something that wasn’t true at all. So I can see how overexplaining could be a way to counter that.