Hi Anita

Thanks again for your reply I appreciate your help!

I think it does ring true to a large extent. I think I never really “fit in” to this group I think I was in this group because growing up I was quite a good/successful sportsmen so I landed myself in that group as a result but I would say I was also a floater who spoke to everyone at school for example and found common ground with most people. So I think I was respected in this group purely because I was a nice guy end of the day.

In regards to bringing the female dynamic into this, I have always known deep down I am just down to earth/genuine but because of the group I am within and seeing them be successful at a bar/club or whatever with women that it planted a seed that I have to act more like this type of character to attract a woman.

With experience dating I know that I can’t attempt to be like the alpha male because it is not who I am but where I get confused is….just because I am not that typical “alpha” does not mean I am not manly or a “nice guy”, I have control of my life & am stable and I believe I am emotionally intelligent but a lot of rejections about having no spark etc have led me to believe I need to “play games” or whatever in order to keep a woman interested despite people such as my close friends partners telling not to do that & keep myself genuine and wear my heart on my sleeve as I usually do.

But I am starting to feel that this emotionally in tune side of me is weak to women or it doesn’t help ignite sparks or create attraction in me. I am not weak when I say emotionally in tune, what I mean is I am not afraid to show interest/express a feeling/listen to others/help those in need because I care. I am also levelheaded & not sporadic with my emotion despite the anxiety I have suffered. The anxiousness happens mostly when I am on my own in my own thoughts.

Basically the feeling is like this silly sort of analogy….I am like a book you pick up, read the blurb and the review and it looks pretty good nothing wrong with it at all, you start reading and have a good impression of the story but eventually it bores you and you put it down & never got back to it.