Dear lorn:

“I try to understand such pain, why it happens, and I think it’s because I haven’t satisfied such desire, and that I blame myself for not doing so, and I feel guilty about that, I have this blame & guilt issue“- if you peel the blame and guilt issue off the mental act of fantasizing, you may be able to sleep better.

Try to have empathy for yourself instead of judging yourself as Guilty. Your desire for a relationship, if it is for a healthy, loving relationship-  is a natural desire, nothing to feel guilty about, is it?

anita