Dear Mindy,

I am so sorry for all the horrible losses you’ve experienced in recent years. The way the deaths of your loved ones happened – suddenly and unexpectedly – made them even more traumatic. Even your husband, who was sick with cancer and dementia died suddenly, due to a fall. I can’t even imagine how hard and devastating it was to have this series of tragedies all happen within the span of a few years.

But perhaps the worst of all is the way how your youngest son and his family (including your ex husband) is treating you. It is indespicable that they are blaming you for your oldest son’s death, and that they said horrible lies to the police so they had you handcuffed and taken away!

That’s malignant and outright evil! You said your youngest son always felt entitled, and it could be that this is his revenge for you not giving him the money he was asking for, for not giving him what he wanted?

It is awful that your youngest son and his family are still blaming you and harassing you on social networks. What would be important is that you don’t believe their accusations! I hope you don’t, and that you can see that you are in no way to blame for your son’s death. Those are malignant and unjustified accusations – just like those after your son died – and it seems their goal is to destroy you and your mental health. Perhaps your ex husband participates because he still resents you for leaving him and remarrying (if this is what happened?) and he is punishing you for that?

In any case, it would be extremely important that 1) you don’t believe those accusations, and 2) that you surround yourself with people who support you and are on your side.

It’s great that you have a therapist, but as you say, that’s not enough. Is there a Church you can join or another supportive community (perhaps you can look up a group of parents with estranged children)?

I think it’s crucial for your well-being that you’re not alone with your thoughts all the time, and that you have someone who doesn’t blame you and accuse you all the time. Because that’s what you’ve been receiving all this time. Instead, you need people who have empathy and understanding for you, and who are on your side.