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Hi Peter
Thank you for your kind message. It’s always a pleasure hearing your thoughts. I’m glad that my post helped you to feel that you are not alone with these issues. Likewise, hearing your thoughts makes me not feel alone with these things.
I have very similar experiences to you regarding these thoughts and I appreciate your insight. I would say that I have difficulty trusting the world. It’s unique because on the one hand I’ve had a lot of difficulties. On the other, I’ve been rather lucky. I think you hit the nail on the head about resisting circumstances.
I’m generally strong willed and believe in my own ability to change things. I feel like I’ve had to fight for a lot in my life and surrendering or letting go can be challenging. To me, it feels like giving up.
Your analogy, like spitting in the wind made me smile. It is so true!
So far in a week, I’ve had two days without these thoughts and two days where the thoughts occurred specifically as I was writing down that I haven’t had these thoughts. So you’re definitely right about trying not to think about these thoughts can cause it.
These thoughts don’t upset me persay. I can move on pretty quickly from them. I think it’s the idea of it happening that bothers me. Seeing it as something to solve. I figured out how to be happy and how to love myself. This is almost the last major thing other than continuing to work on anxiety.
I’d love to hear more about your thoughts and experiences!