Dear Freddie,

I think your concerns are valid, since your partner isn’t upfront about important parts of her life, such as the relationship with her child from a previous relationship. And also about her debts, since you say she used to spend a lot of money. Is she still spending a lot?

So if there are some major secrets that she is keeping, it’s a valid enough reason for caution. Specially since she doesn’t seem willing to talk about it honestly.

I think you shouldn’t go against your key values, so it seems to me you did the right thing when you took a break from the relationship. You said:

About 6 months later I started feeling like there were issues in the relationship that needed addressing, mainly to do with money and having children. We talked stuff out and said we would work on things but a few days later we argued about things and I left.

So you did try to address those 2 key stumbling blocks: her money spending habits and her relationship with her child. You say you agreed to work on things. What have you agreed on regarding those 2 main issues, if I may ask?