Dear Caroline,

you’re welcome.

Writing some of it here helps me to organize my thoughts (although it seems like I am more guilty so it is not very comfortable to realize )

Now that you’ve written some more details of what happened, I don’t think it was only you who sabotaged it, but she had a big responsibility in it as well. She was suspicious of you and tried to make you jealous, although you said you ended your previous relationship. She was still hanging out with her ex, posting pictures of them together. And then “her ex tried to hurt herself and they lived together again. I tried to text her, call her but she did not want to talk to me, said I was selfish. It got really hard to communicate.”

So basically, her ex blackmailed her by trying to hurt herself, and she then took her back in. And then she didn’t want to talk to you and even told you you were selfish. You were hurt, and rightly so, because she shut you out of her life and got back with her ex, without explaining what was going on. And in that hurt, you hooked up with someone else.

So maybe it was more like revenge, you feeling hurt that she cut you off so rudely from her life? Also, you probably believed she doesn’t care about you (again, rightly so, based on her behavior), and so you didn’t care much if you hurt her either. Would that explain what happened?

I thought she cheated on me too, but seeing her reaction and how hurt she looked.. I can assume she never cheated on me.

Well, maybe she didn’t cheat on you, but she was living with her ex and didn’t want to communicate with you (and called you selfish for reaching out). So she wasn’t exactly showing any signs that she was interested in you or a relationship with you. So I understand why you felt bad about the situation, and then feeling hurt, you did what you did…

I wrote couple of words to her, did not send it. I sent it to myself on social media with a plan to send it to her, although I know I shouldn’t and probably won’t. But I really would like to do it, to talk to her, call her.

What exactly are you hoping to achieve by reaching out? Would you like to get back together with her? Or you just want some closure?