Hey Tee,

She wasn’t doing anything in particular I just thought she would push me a lot, but I see now why she did and that she only wanted the best for me. I think the real desire to help a partner developed with this girl definitely. Yeh she said it gets really messy in her head when she gets into a relationship, she is definitely playing the victim.

We have been talking. I suggested friends and continuing to talk. She is just so conflicted in her thoughts and about everything she says. The conversation really went nowhere at the end of the day because of this, but I did get a little bit of closure. She was the one that said we need to move on so I agreed and said I’m moving on, and that she needs to fix things. I gave her the treatment she gave me and she got upset! She said she wants to talk and wants me in her life but I told her she needs to show me she wants me in her life and take action on it.

After many messages she finally said this;

If I’m being honest about what I want selfishly I’d be in your arms right now where I feel safe and comfortable and everything feels normal and I’d be happy. I say selfishly because I know that I will only result in more pain for both of us when we go through what we’ve gone through all over again.

She  went on to say she loves me but is sorry she can’t give me what I want, taking both our best interest in mind. It’s like she is holding off pushing me away fully though and she doesn’t want me to push her away either but I have to cut ties I think. This is such a messed up situation.

Yes I agree she just wants a shoulder to try on it feels like, but then at times she doesn’t want to talk. I am showing her what she has done is okay through my actions, but it isn’t. Her behavior is so confusing, it’s brought me to the worst place in my life. A handful is an understatement this whole weekend was a mess due to how conflicted she really is. She genuinely doesn’t know what she wants but it feels like she doesn’t want too loose me in case it doesn’t work out elsewhere or she feels ready one day. Neither of these are fair on me, I am starting to notice how much better I deserved.