Home→Forums→Relationships→Obsession, idealization, or what is the reason behind all of this?→Reply To: Obsession, idealization, or what is the reason behind all of this?
hello, I read through a bit and I dont really have a solution. actually I stumbled across this place looking for answers for myself. I’m obsessed with a woman and I think maybe I could describe the way I feel and what I’ve tried to understand about it. I think I worship this women the same way your bf does other than me being single and haven’t really made much contact with her. I don’t have my eyes on any girl but her. but I’ve realized something after about a year of this obsession. I’m also envious and it’s kind of a love, hate obsession. and I find it very difficult to actually see myself with her.
I’m envious of the way she gets along with people and how others seem to worship her too. and I’m hateful for the way she’s so careless about it and doesn’t seem to appreciate her gifts. and I’m also frightened that something may happen to her with so many eyes on her I’m afraid someone may feel the way I do but less passive about it and possibly get violent.
I’ve learned that’s she’s had some real trauma in her past though I won’t go into detail. she has a diva like personality like your mysterious woman and I think that’s a big factor. a love for love is something that we have in common and I believe your bf does too. but these women seem to be more successful when attracting it and that might be what makes us so obsessed but not compatible. I feel I need to know how this lady does what she does to me. what makes her so magical? so far I think it’s her high action and yet easygoing lifestyle and emotional manipulation to some degree. after all she did need to flirt with me to get me where I am. though I didn’t realize it was just something she did for everyone. but she made me feel special and then not long after betrayed. but she still flirts when she’s around and it gets to me sometimes because no one else does that to me. and she has only been kind to me even though she’s lying and I know it. the feeling is consuming and there’s not much action I feel I can take.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this anymore. but I do hope it provides some form of insight. also I realize that it’s been I while since these conversations stopped. but I didn’t think that should stop me since I found this and read through it and saw some relation. I’m trying to deal with myself though not professionally and make since of all this. this is my first time talking about it and I’m interested in any possible solutions.