Dear Jill

I have been in a similar position to you basically being a single parent on & off and having to work 2 & 3 jobs often low paid because I did not want to work for a betting company (ethical decision) but it meant that I had to work longer hours and consequently my children saw less of me.  When my youngest about 19 we became estranged after 18 months I wrote to him basically saying that I have apologized  enough for my past decisions and trying to second guess what to do and now it is up to him to tell me what kind of mother he wants me to be. Some time later he did let me back into his life.

We now have an adult relationship where it is ok to say no to suggestions and it is also ok to ask for help.

We both I think have both grown up a lot in this last decade and even when either of us have been disappointed something that the other has done we do not store it up with resentment and add it to the past hurts this means our hearts always stay open to each other.

So I hope that your on going therapy helps with your present situation and that in the future you will become reconciled with your family