Hi Lisa

Its clear your hurting, please know that you have been heard.

I’d like to comment on your last post

It doesn’t matter how hard I work. It doesn’t matter how much I care. It doesn’t matter how much time I devote to something. I will never be successful if the people around me do not want to see success.

That reads like your measurement of success is being determined by others? Which gives these others allot of power over you, power that is not thier to have or maybe even not want. (If I’m being honest when I give away my power to others it usually in a subconscious attempt  to exert power over them, to get them to like and approve of me which is also a power game.) Either way the task would be to take your power back. I know easier said then done. A first step may be to tell us what does success look like to you, what would it feel like. Is their any connection to your vision of success to how you view others viewing you?

Movement creates Life, Stillness creates Love, to be Still, yet still Moving is everything. – Do Hyun Choe

I like that play on words, Still yet still Moving. Life ups and downs surrounded and supported by a calm compassionate Love, a love that includes self love. That is the sound of AUM…

“Aum” is a word that, what can I say, represents to our ears that sound of the energy of the universe, of which all things are manifestations. And “Aum”, it’s a wonderful word, it’s written A-U-M. You start in the back of the mouth, Ah, and then, Ooh, you fill the mouth, and M-m-m, closes it, the mouth. And when you have pronounced this properly, all vowel sounds are in that pronunciation: “Aum”. And consonants are regarded simply as interruptions of “Aum”, and all words are thus fragments of “Aum”, as all images are fragments of the form of forms, of which all things are just reflections. And so “Aum” is a symbol, a symbolic sound, that puts you in touch with that throbbing being that is the universe.

And when you hear some of these Tibetan monks that are over here from the Rgyud Stod monastery outside of Lhasa, when they sing the “Aum,” you know what it means, all right That’s the zoom of being in the world. And to be in touch with that and to get the sense of that, that is the peak experience of all. “Ah-ooh-mm.” The birth, the coming into being, and the solution to the cycle of that. And it’s just called the four-element syllable. What is the fourth element? “Ah-ooh-mm,” and the silence (stillness) out of which it comes, back into which it goes, and which underlies it.

Now, my life is the “Ah-ooh-mm,” but there is a silence (stillness) that underlies it, and that is what we would call the immortal. This is the mortal, and that’s the immortal, and there wouldn’t be this if there weren’t that. — Joseph Campbell

If you want to hear AUM, just cover your ears and you’ll hear it. Of course, what you are hearing is the blood in the capillaries, but it’s AUM: Ah – waking consciousness; ou – dream consciousness; and then, mmm – the realm of deep, dreamless sleep.
AUM is the sound of the radiance of G_d (transcendence).
The point is that this AUM heard in silence informs all things. All things are manifestations of it. Now you are inward turned.

The secret to having a spiritual life as you move in the world is to hear the AUM in all things all the time. If you do, everything is transformed. You no longer have to go anywhere to find your fulfillment and achievement and the treasure you seek. It is here. It is everywhere. (You are It, as am I) — Joseph Campbell

Movement is Time creating Life – AUM – immerging from and returning to Stillness which is eternity creating Love,  supporting Life – AUM