Hi Adam,

I am glad you resonated with that description of your relationship, and that it puts things into perspective. I do believe it is close to the truth.

No she wasn’t enjoying life at all she was in a terrible spot and it affecting the whole relationship.

Yes, so by quitting her medication and choosing the “do it yourself” route, she actually made things worse. I can imagine that doing it alone, without professional help, rarely works out. It’s a pity that she didn’t want to see that and is most likely delaying her healing.

I am still processing it and realizing that it’s actually over for the best. I can feel small improvements slowly coming. I daydream not as much as last time we split.

I am glad you can actually think of this breakup as something not so terrible, and that you’re daydreaming less than the last time. Try to stay anchored in your rational self, who can see the reality. If you start drifting into daydreaming, you can pull up that list of grievances, to serve as a metaphorical splash of cold water on your face. (You may even splash your face with cold water for real, if you think it would help you stay real and not drift away into fantasy).

She did allow me to feel the deepest feelings I’ve had in my life. When it comes to a romantic partner atleast. I am proud of myself for how good of a lover and partner I was even if we didn’t always see eye to eye.

Good! Please don’t forget that you did your best and are not responsible for how it ended.

Maybe it does have something to do with being able to fully feel. Like I said earlier it was the most I’ve ever felt. I really was on cloud nine at times.

When we feel a very strong longing and attraction for someone, it’s often because they fill a hole in our being, they possess something we believe we don’t, and we believe this “something” will make us complete. So perhaps she had a quality you admired and believed you yourself don’t possess?

You wrote that you previous girlfriends were not as laid back, and that you had to walk on egg shells around them. (I probably wasn’t very considerate during my first couple relationships. They would definitely frustrate me a lot with their own problems which is harsh to say. …. I did feel like I was stepping on eggshells with them. They were not as laid back). It turned out that this girl made you walk on egg shells too, eventually. But perhaps in the beginning she seemed more laid back?