Hi Adam,

I am glad I am not being too intrusive with my questions and hypotheses 🙂

As an example of being sarcastic I would say things like ‘I love this movie’ if there was a really boring movie on tv.

Did she like the movie and wanted to keep watching it? And then you, instead of saying “sorry I find it boring, can we watch something else?”, you said “I love this movie”, rolling your eyes or something to that effect? So the question is: was your remark playful, or was it resentful because you didn’t dare to say what you really think of the movie?

I think that would be the main difference between playfulness and sarcasm – whether there is resentment in it, or not.

I notice a few ways we are similar. We’re both a bit quiet but make others laugh. Both honest, humble, have the same smile, I could name a lot of different things.

These are all pleasant features. You did say though that you’re similar to your father when you’re daydreaming. So I was wondering what are those daydreaming “features” of yours, that you believe are similar to your father’s?

I saw the psych today and it went really well. She told me my ex had a push pull attachment style. She’d pull me in then push me away. We spoke about a lot and she made me feel very safe and reassured. She said it was clearly abuse. I know What I need to do for myself so I will continue to do it.

Glad you had a successful appointment! Yes, it does seem like the push-and-pull tactics. I mean, she would pull you in with her nice words and promises, and then she would reject you with her moods and criticism. She was complaining you’re not spending enough quality time together, but then she wasn’t interested in doing anything together, but just sulking. You also said that after one earlier breakup, she said she’ll never leave again and that she knows you can always sort things out by talking. But then a short while later she’d be breaking up with you again. And so on…

You said you don’t really know what your type of girlfriend is and what is it that you liked about all your exes (I was trying to think of ‘my type’ and I struggle with this, along with what I actually liked about all my exes). So I took a look at your older posts, and actually this is what you said about your exes:

All my exes have had some form of anxiety or being prescribed to medication

So that’s perhaps significant. Also, you said you had to walk on egg shells around them (and this has proven to be true for your last ex gf too):

They would definitely frustrate me a lot with their own problems which is harsh to say. …. I did feel like I was stepping on eggshells with them

You also said you yourself sometimes suffer from anxiety:

No i was quite open about my feelings with her, told her about work, psych appointments, anxiety I was feeling at times.

If this is a sensitive topic, we don’t need to talk about it. But perhaps anxiety is a common theme here? Again, please disregard if this is irrelevant.