I forgot to add some context about my relationship. My husband also had an abusive background.

I don’t remember if I’ve said this before, but I feel it’s important.

For a long time, I felt a sense of distrust and resentment that he wasn’t able to behave “perfectly” and avoid triggering me. I was genuinely hyper vigilant in the relationship and afraid of being abused.

It’s really difficult when the mind overlays past experiences onto our present. It is very confusing and ultimately, understandable that we want it to stop. But ultimately, my husband was never to blame. The traumatic experiences were to blame.

Since I’ve come to understand the large impact my PTSD has on communication during disagreements in the relationship. It’s really helped me to accept him and forgive his very human mistakes when they occur and to let go of that resentment.

I would also say that sometimes living with a roommate that you don’t like as well as a partner can exacerbate tensions. I went through this experience as well and honestly, it’s so much nicer living with only my partner and not having someone around that was actively uncomfortable to live with. Just added this because I seem to remember a roommate situation who you didn’t get on with.