Dear Stacy:

I am fine, thank you, Stacy. Good to read back from you!

“I always found it hard to understand why he hadn’t moved out by now, even to just a tiny apartment outside of the small, utopian retirement town he lived in because he made decent money compared to his expenses… Near the end of our relationship, he revealed he wasn’t even working completely full time at his main job anymore and was actually making more money housesitting on the weekends. I found that odd and wondered why he had chosen less hours. I say all that to say that perhaps he really was not in a place to actually want to move any time soon, even if he felt like he wanted to in theory“-

– in practice, we most often choose the easier option. For him, it was easier to live with his parents than it was to move out. It is easy to talk about what we’d do in theory; it is difficult to do. I figure that he hasn’t moved out of his parents’ home because it has been easier to stay, and that he chose less hours because.. it was easier.

“I definitely can’t imagine being someone not filled with shame or guilt or crippling insecurities“- do not underestimate the power of the imagination: give it a try.. Please do IMAGINE being someone filled with a sense of having some power over your life, of making your own choices as a resourceful, capable person!

anita