Dear Seaturtle:

I read your wish that I sleep well last (Sun) night and although I was too awake for some of the night, eventually I slept well. Thank you! I am impressed that you found the time to reply yesterday, being that you were busy with obligations in regard to the Shakespearean play you are part of. Plus, I don’t expect you to reply on weekends.

“(F) offers to pay for N’s ticket to come on family trips and he even lets us have our own room and space. It seems like he encourages the relationship“- he is encouraging and supporting the relationship big time.

“I fear making decisions out of what my dad wants, because it got me nowhere for so long and prevented me from actually discovering what I wanted and who I was. So when my dad supports the decision I think It makes me wonder why I want it, is it because I am still being controlled. by him? Or do I trust my own pull towards N“-

– you don’t know then if your pull towards N is about your need to please F (being controlled by this need) OR it is a pull that is free from this need.

“We spent Saturday together this week and I actually spoke with him about this caged girl, I told him what the cage’s requirements were and how it held me from being truly feminine and curvy, and sensitive…. he followed it by saying ‘Do what you need to do baby, I trust your feelings‘”- no evidence yet that he prefers the girl in the box.

“After finally getting a whole day alone yesterday I feel more supported by him… I think he does encourage me to leave that cage, but I think I am very afraid of coming out of the cage and not being accepted by him… Just as the uncaged girl was not accepted by F and put into the cage by him. It is like hatchling is coming out, and afraid another man will throw her back in. If I get the slightest sense of N doing this, a whole alarm system goes on in my nervous system”-

– make a commitment to hatchling that you will be there for her every step of the way as she leaves the box, tell her that you will not put her back in the cage no matter what N or anyone does.

” do I trust my own pull towards N“?- hatchling needs to trust Seaturtle. This is why it is necessary that you make hatchling a PROMISE: to take her hand and walk her through leaving the box and moving away from the box step by step, staying away from it forevermore, no matter what anyone says or does.

anita