Dear Ben:

I’ll reply more tomorrow morning (it’s Tues 5:35 pm here, U.S.), but for now:

“A long tirade ahaha“- actually, it was a pleasure (!) to read your post: you are an excellent writer in a literary sense, says I, plus your writing is so honest, so genuine, that it makes me feel affection for you. It makes me smile. I can understand why he likes and loves you.

“I paid for his flight…  I feel foolish for doing so“- I think that it’s fine, not foolish, that you paid for his flight, given that he can’t pay for it.

“… He’ll be here 6 weeks… my OCD tendencies and anxiety have ganged up on me a.. it’s a wonderful party going on inside my amygdala“- the brain, particularly the amygdala, has its own habits, chemical mostly, and anxiety, OCD tendencies and such are mental habits. Like any habit, it takes effort and a plan to change.

Mindfulness is a part of modern psychotherapy that’s about changing mental habits. When I attended therapy, my daily homework was to listen to one of Mark William’s audio guided meditations. He was (maybe still is) a professor in Oxford and an expert on Mindfulness. I think that you can listen to a few of his recorded mindfulness meditations online free of charge. Listening to an audio first thing in the morning and/ or last thing at night, and anytime in between- is one way to slow down the brain, to calm it. Over time.. together with other Mindfulness Practices, you will be surprised by how well it works!

Back to you tomorrow!

anita