Dear Chloe:

I went on a walk and thought of your thread, then came home and typed a 3rd post for you. I then found out that you submitted a 3rd post. I read it and I want to reply to it tomorrow. For now, this is what I posted to you before reading your most recent post:

You mentioned me joining you in this exploration– if I may continue the exploration I started in my first reply today,( since you welcomed it):

you wrote: “You ask about how my hurt, angry, demanding side shows in my adult friendships.  That is a fair question, and I’m not sure.  As far as all outward, typical things one might see (yelling, blame, destructive behavior, etc.), none of those things happen”-

– In the quote above, did you acknowledge a hurt, angry, demanding side in the context of friends?

And regarding atypical things one might still see: a silent anger, an accusation delivered via a look, no words, no sound.. maybe with a mild smile?

My mother used to do those typical things you mentioned above: yelling, blaming, and destructive behavior (hitting me, breaking and tearing things), yet what appeared in my nightmares again and again was none of those typical things, only her silent face looking at me with blaming eyes and that mild smile that bore no affection.

I digressed.  I know that you are not her.

Exploring, bringing up possibilities that may be true to some extent, or not at all-  for you to consider..?

anita