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You allude to how others have harmed you but there are no details. Hiding the truth of the situation. When a woman does see work, she knows it is wrong. She won’t show it to her parents. She knows and she hides it. As you know what was done and you hide it. Platos cave?
You want freedom from this obstruction? You find forgiveness. Yes, forgive. Forgive them and yourself. This doesn’t mean to just let it go. You have find the ability in yourself to forgive. Then, pain, anger, thoughts, memories will lessen. Moving forward will happen.
Why does your success mean revenge? Is that your mean you become better than others? Is that the scale upon which you judge your life?
Freedom and happiness comes from compassion and wisdom. I hope you find yours.