Dear Seaturtle:

Happy Monday evening to you and thank you for the last two lines! As usual, I will write more tomorrow morning, but for now, in regard to the analogy transferring to the relationship with N, this is what I am thinking: when you were upset and emotional, or having a panic attack,  he felt like the strong one (while you were the weak one), a feeling he likes, and therefore he felt close to you. But when you were cold, unemotional (strong, in his dictionary).. he felt threatened (his feeling of being strong in comparison to you was threatened), so he emotionally withdrew from you/ didn’t contact you.

anita