Dear Blazkowich:

From what you already shared, you feel “really pissed“, really angry with her, because you feel betrayed and thrown away by her breaking up with you: “I felt really betrayed and I never expected her to do this to me…  there’s a part of me which hates her for throwing me away“.

I know that you feel thrown away, but in reality, you were not thrown away: you are living in the same physical circumstances in which you lived before you knew her, same circumstances in which you lived during the short-term relationship. Maybe you have been unhappy with your living circumstances for a long time and the relationship with her was a way for you to distract yourself from this unhappiness. And now that the relationship has ended, you lost that distraction. Any truth to this?

Also, I know that you feel betrayed, but I don’t see the betrayal. You only met her in-person 3 times. Never got engaged or married, didn’t have children together… You lived separately and she is only 19, a student.

It reads like she was honest with you when she told you that the way or ways you cared for her were hurting her: “Her exact words before leaving me was that the fact that I am there caring for her is hurting her“.

On your part, supporting her made you happy (“supporting her made me happy“), on her part, it made her unhappy. This means that what you considered supportive of her, she considered hurtful, which is not supportive.

In your original post 17 days ago, you wrote in regard to your ex girlfriend: “She was also offended over the fact that I advised her to visit a therapist“- is it possible for you to visit a therapist?

I am asking because I would like you to look deeper into what is happening in your mind and heart, heal and get stronger and wiser from this relationship experience. And to do that, you need support and guidance.

anita