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Dear Rebecca:
You are welcome!
“My childhood was a mess… internalised a lot of unhelpful ‘messages ‘ and would like to be free from them, but time is running out as I’m at retirement age. I don’t have the resources to pay for therapy“- in the context of self-help (free of charge), you are welcome to share here about your messy childhood and the unhelpful “messages” you received back then.
And I can share with you about my messy childhood and the unhelpful messages I received back then. Maybe it will help you to free yourself from those messages. It’s not too late to be free at your age.
“As for forgiving myself, it’s all blurring into one now“- I didn’t understand this sentence.
anita