Good Sunday Morning Anita,

“She (hatch) needs to find that which she hid from that manipulative parent .. because hiding for so long, she forgot what it is that she is hiding. She needs you to be an honest, trustworthy parent to SEE her and not use what you see against her.”

Do you think there are still things hatch is hiding that I do not know about at all? If so that is exciting news 🙂

The past 2 months, every time I miss N, I go over all the reasons why I did what I did, and I do get to a settled place. I have yet to have a good cry to myself, since the breakup. I cried several times over the summer, as I heard the voice to leave the relationship, I would temporarily know it would eventually end, so I would cry. Then I would try to figure out, “but why does it have to end?” Hence my title “my mind hasn’t rested in 8 months,” 8 months of that thought pattern. So it makes sense I have not cried a ton since the breakup, because I cried over the breakup many times already, in the relationship. However, this morning, I sat down, a little over an hour ago now, and my intention was to open my third eye, have my crown chakra vibrating, and come to this forum. But as I was meditating, to open my third eye, I suddenly felt very sad, I miss N. I do not miss him in the way that I want to go back to the relationship, he is not my person I know this. However, as I have mentioned, he was an upgrade, meaning there were good times, good times I miss with a friend (not good times I miss as a partner). I realized this morning, that every time I have missed N, I immediately remind myself of all the reasons why I ended it, and this does serve me well, but in that process I am also not allowing myself to miss him. Hatch misses him, and I have had to tell her she doesn’t, in order to not feel the heartache, that is there. I allowed myself to miss him, I paused my intention to come here to respond, I grabbed a blanket I am crocheting and I just started to let thoughts flow and crochet. I just taught myself how, and have been doing so with tv at night, but this morning it was nice to do in silence, well with some no-words meditative music. I don’t want to make hatch hide that she misses N, but I also cannot sit in that for too long or it can start to cloud my judgement and decisions.

“may hatch be your first priority, and may hatch be… hatch”

Is hatch the essence of my personality?

“you made a positive change in my world, and I am part of.. the world.”

This makes me very happy 🙂

Maybe you made a positive change in people reading your thread.. that’s more of the world into which you added.”

I wonder! I would love to know if anyones related to me here.

 “ask hatch sometime if she gave up her desire for popularity.”

If it was genuine popularity, popularity for being genuine then yes, but I think my faith is shaken for that to be possible. When I have met people that others consider popular, I have yet to meet someone very authentic. If authenticity and popularity could coincide, then I suppose that would feel good, the opposite of lonely.

“As I read n, I realized that I will have to reply further later, maybe not before Sun.”

I am curious, was this a typo or did you mean as you read about N, you realized you would have to respond later? Does he make you feel low?

“to put what I see when I think of you in one word, it is Awesome!”

Thank you Anita <3

Seaturtle