Hi Anita 🙂

I just got home from the hospital. I stayed over night, the surgery took longer than predicted and had to make two more incisions, so 5 total. I’m very sore, but good news is it was not cancerous and he preserved my ovary!!! I am so happy about that and that I made the right decision to wait.

The past month my mom and grandma have been asking me about my surgery and so I’ve given them updates, but my dad never sent one message. Last night he tried to blame me that he didn’t know the details. Probably my mom told him. The messages are long and maybe I will share more tomorrow morning when I have more energy after I get some sleep (got about 3 hours last night). I held my ground, third eye open and said he never reached out to me, he called me self absorbed for thinking he would text me…he brought up the copay he paid for and said he felt unappreciated. What a throw back to housecleanings! But I trusted hatch and showed her last night that this was not true. I am proud of how I responded, he evaded responsibility in every single way. By the end he said “let’s agree to disagree” and I just felt like it was pointless to continue the argument, and preferred peace, I did my best and he didn’t understand.

What was an interesting revelation for me however, was remember when we spoke about N preferring me to be weak? How he was attracted to me being weak but then resulted in him not respecting me when I was “weak.” Well last night after holding my ground with several messages in return, I had a different result than before, “house cleaning” typically ended with me crying and feeling I was at fault. Last night I didn’t give in and his last message was quite interesting, he said:

“OK well I’m tired too. Know that I love you and we disagree about this and that’s OK. I’m going to write part of this off as you and me being very similar 😂I know that you didn’t mean to hurt me and i know you know the same about me.
I think we can both do a little better job of communicating with each other in general.
Get some rest 😘.”

I just had a revelation in that moment how similar he and N are. If I don’t eventually fall for the manipulation and take the fault, the next best thing they do is basically call it a fair match, yet still 0 responsibility. All his excuses reminded me of N.

Healing seaturtle