Dear Anita,

I am finding myself wondering why I was attracted to N, or understand why I still may be. So that when I go to get my things I am aware of what attracted me in the first place and be cautious of it showing up again. Do you think he was narcissistic? Today my roommates boyfriend played a similar game that reminded me of N. It is her birthday today and he did not message her this morning, forcing her to let him know she was awake, to which he responded happy birthday then took two hours to call her. Once he finally did he made it known he was playing video games before calling her and cut the call short and said he had to make dinner. When she came out it was the shortest phone call they’d had since him being away at a basketball tournament. She said on the phone he was in a bad mood, just down and sad and she didn’t appreciate him not putting effort into being happy for her birthday, she said he brought her down and she was so disappointed she had expectations, said she felt stupid and didn’t even realize that she did have expectations but she hated that he had power over her and was disappointing. It was sad to hear and also incredibly relatable. I had this power dynamic with N and it was emotional torture. Why do we withstand this and also why do they do it? I know people are complex but this is such a similar behavior and reaction it caused in both her and I.

good evening and good night Anita!

curious Seaturtle