Dear Seaturtle:

I am disturbed as well (and been thinking a lot) about a new understanding that’s just emerging in my mind, and I’ll be spending time trying to figure it out this morning, best I can and reply later. But for now, regarding your last post (submitted Sun midnight, your time?)

“If I am the problem… N would have been the perfect partner if I was better”- not likely because (1) no one is perfect, (2) in a troubled relationship, most often it’s not that there the good person on one side and the bad person on the other, there’s good and bad behaviors on both sides.

I’ll be back to you later.

anita