Dear Worldofthewaterwheels:

You are welcome, good to read from you again!

“I think the problem is that I can’t complain, can’t argue with friends for fear of losing them.. but will anyway. If you can’t be honest with each other then where is the reality“- I agree with you: it is very important to be honest in the context of personal relationships (and otherwise). Holding in complaints and disagreements is distressing and exhausting. I understand your fear to lose friends if you honestly express what may not be pleasant for them to hear.

“I have deep-seated fear of rejection and yet get constantly rejected. I fear confrontation…I have the ability to stand out, I have a presence, but I fight it because apparently from my youth, I was taught not to be too big in order to have support“-

– There is a middle way between being too big and too small,  as in being either too loud and too quiet; a middle way between expressing oneself aggressively and not expressing oneself at all (being passive). The middle way is expressing yourself assertively. Learning and mastering the skill and art of assertiveness will get you the best results when dealing with most people.

anita