Dear Laven:

You shared that you and this guy who lives in your neighborhood started seeing each other six months ago, in Sept 2023. Back then, the two of you had sex for the first time. Following that 1st time, he ghosted you for 2 weeks, and then texted you an apology, saying that he ghosted you because he was insecure “due to him feeling insecure and questioning his size, performance, and capabilities“, saying that he missed you, and asked you if you had been satisfied.

Last week, he had a visitor or visitors in his home, he says it was 2 guys, but you think that saw him with another woman, making out. He swore to you that “there are no other women“. Four days ago, the two of you had sex for the 2nd time, and he ghosted you again, not answering the two texts you sent him (true to yesterday when you submitted your original post).

You asked: “Is he playing me, and perhaps only using me for sex, to fill voids of loneliness…???“- when you say that the two of you had sex only twice, I don’t know if you mean that there were only 2 occasions of a sexual nature between the two of you, or that there were only 2 occasions of intercourse. If it’s the former, if he pursued you for any kind of sexual activity only 2 times in 6 months, I’d say that he wasn’t using you for sex, at least not regularly or predominantly.

As far as filling voids of loneliness- maybe, but that in itself is not a negative thing, we are all people who need people (as the song says) to fill our human void.

“Does he mean anything he tells me??“- he probably meant some of the things he told you, but not all. Did I understand correctly: he told you that he wants to marry you and start a family with you?

If that’s what he told you, do you think he meant it?

I am sorry, Laven, it reads like you are hurting, and I do understand this kind of hurt. Maybe if we talk about it all for a while, back and forth, maybe you will feel better, and the two of us can learn something from each other.

anita

* Dear Tommy: it’s a good thing that you are my role model as far as Ego is concerned, so, I don’t let myself be carried away with what appears to be a compliment.. haha, and thank you!