Dear Tee,

Yes she was not exposed to sexual exploitation as a child/youth. She did admit that her aunt wanted her to marry an old man to get citizenship to make it easier to pay the bill and etc but other than that there was no other manipulation that I am aware of.

“So did her aunt get married to a rich guy?” Yes, the aunt married 3 different successful men, all of whom are coincidentally dead (weird but no suspicious activity has been noticed as they all died in different ways such as old age, car accident etc).

“I wonder what were B’s responsibilities that Al didn’t want to take on himself?” The responsibilities that Al didn’t want to take on himself were things such as financial responsibilities and her education and home; to take care of her essentially.

“It also seems B was conflicted about starting a sexual relationship with Al, but he threatened to leave her, so she agreed.” Yes that is also correct. Al was her first sexual partner who introduced her to foreplay and the actual sex. (He had slept with a lot of woman too, body count probably in the 20s)

“Was she desperate to talk to her aunt because around that time, she found out that Al was cheating on her?” I think she just did not have anyone actively caring for her at the time so she just wanted someone to talk to, but Al’s cheating probably played a factor but based on my understanding, the Aunt and B only resumed their relationship when starting college, and the breakup and stuff technically occurred few months before college (within 2 months).

“And then, in that moment of fragility, her aunt told her about the married man looking for a young girl for sex?” No, the aunt told her about the married man when B and I started dating. So she was already in a healthy relationship when she learnt about the married man. And when the suggestion was made, she already told me that her aunt wanted her to do it and we had already discussed how wrong that was and it was obvious that I did not want her to do it and she had agreed. Like the situation was so bizarre that I just pushed it off labelling the aunt as just some crazy lady and nothing more. I had no idea that B would be stupid enough to go along with her aunt when it is so obvious that I did not want her to do it.

“It also shows that her aunts are not some good, caring women who instilled positive values in B”  My logical explanation is that the aunt suffered in her life, cause her sister (B’s mom) was the reason she did not get to go to college and etc. So she basically used men to climb up the ladder. In a way, life was cruel to her and so she just adopted the belief that the only way to survive is to use men for an advantage, and she could not see any other way to survive and tried to install the same belief in B, but I was there to stop the foolishness but i guess my efforts were not good enough.

“(She had good influence from her family members during this time.) They are in fact immoral women who sought to prostitute their own niece for money.” No only Aunt 1 tried to do that. Everyone else, her father, aunt 2, etc all showed love to B, even her own mother did not continue to harm B. Only Aunt 1 had the twisted morals to ‘secure B’s future’ by helping her make money by giving her body to men. Aunt 1 was not even trying to take advantage of the money or anything. Her aim was to actually help B secure a future, but the method is one of the cruelest things I have ever seen. A 40 something year old woman who has 3 children, one of whom is a daughter almost the same age as B was able to do this? Clearly nobody has knocked some sense into her head.

“Since B agreed…it tells me that this wasn’t strange for her at all” THATS THE THING! SHE DID NOT AGREE UNTIL SHE WENT TO VISIT HER AUNT AND WE BROKE UP. Even when her aunt was sending her $500 per month, she believed that the money was coming from the aunt, not the man. She only found out that it was from the man when she went to visit the aunt. We both agreed that the aunt was crazy when she suggested that B get married to an old man and when she mentioned the man at the beginning but I thought B had made it clear that she did not want to do it. Maybe B did reject the offer but her aunt still continued with the plan, I don’t know.

This story is too detailed for B to have invented it, however she could be lying about certain details. B also told me that she was heart broken and in pain cause of the break up, saying she felt abandoned by me, which was why she was willing to go along with her aunt. But the stupid thing is that the very reason we broke up is because I told her about my parents’ belief that women these days will take advantage of men and cheat on them etc, which she found offensive. BUT THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE ENDED UP DOING. SHE LITERALLY PROVED MY PARENTS RIGHT. Like how does that even work? Shouldn’t she be trying to prove my parents wrong? Make me regret breaking up with her? I broke up with her because she misunderstood what I was trying to say. Based on all the stories my parents told me, I started to fear that they may be right. So I went and asked her if she had an ulterior motive to dating me, cause she once told me that she and her bestie back then were planning to look around the Med Faculty for the future husband, and it just so happened that I am studying med. So I asked her and she felt offended. But when I tried to clarify the misunderstanding, she refused to listen to me and pissed me off to the point I decided that it is better to not be in a relationship with a woman who is keen on misunderstanding everything I say and does not want to listen to the man who has been very good to her.  And then she proved my parents right, and hid it from me.

The only proper reason for her impaired judgement at that time is that the break up hurt her enough to just be her aunt’s puppet without resistance. So with that said, should I put this into consideration and give her another chance?

Paradoxy