Hi Everyone!

I learned about intrusive thoughts recently.

It turns out that you can have intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation when you aren’t suicidal.

I feel like this is what I’ve been experiencing for most of my life. It turns out that one thing that makes intrusive thoughts worse is believing they are bad or unpleasant. This is what these intrusive thoughts have been like for me.

The importance I have given these thoughts. Wanting to be rid of them, feeling like if I have them I’m not doing better. It’s like an alarm bell in my brain. Oh no! This is really bad! It’s so important! Let’s flag this thought and pay a lot of attention to it every time it comes up.

The more attention you give to a thought, the more it pops up.

After all this time and everything I’ve been through, a small thought every now and then is a pretty good outcome. I’m being unrealistic expecting perfection. I should be kinder to myself, I expect too much.

In addition, I learned that with chronic pain and neurodivergence intrusive thoughts are a given. It happens! Infact, intrusive thoughts happen to most people every now again.

I know that my triggers for intrusive thoughts are pain, stress and fatigue.

I’m doing my best to make peace with these thoughts and let them drift on by.