Dear Katherine:

“At the beginning of December 2023 I met someone… About a month ago I confronted the fact we were not yet in a relationship… he is moving for a year and then off to medical school…. He doesn’t want to commit to me if he can’t give me his all. I get it. We decided to just date each other and create positive memories until he moves in August… My issue is this: do I stay and make memories and connect deeply with this man, or do I choose self-respect and go”-

– always choose self respect!

The problem with the first option (staying with him through August, and creating memories with him), is that I don’t see- and please correct me if I am wrong- how can you create good memories, in your own mind, when you are aware, every day you’re with him, that he is going to leave in 4 or 5 months, while not willing to commit to a long-distance relationship with you…?

I would imagine that you’d be too anxious and upset to.. create pleasant memories…?

It seems like a good choice for him to not commit to a long-distance relationship at this time (especially given that he has experience with a LDR),  so that he can focus on his studies, and not be distracted by a romantic relationship. It is your job to make a good choice for yourself, and self-respect is always the right choice.

“Totally lost and sad.“- keep posting here, and let me know of your thoughts and feelings over time, and we can talk about it, will you?

anita