Dear Anita,

I have pondered more on where this tiredness “laziness” came from.

He probably began to think I was lazy before I stopped working for Verizon, because the reason I was let go was because I took too much time off, and my Christmas break home was the last straw and I chose to go, knowing I would likely get fired. I called out of work a lot while I worked there, when friends came to town I prioritized a lot of things over work, friends, events, my fatigue. The job was draining socially for me, although in Seattle I was able to do the job with a great amount of energy, it wasn’t until simultaneously living with N and working here in AZ that it started to be too much for me. Had my third eye been opened then I would have/should have found a way to find meaning at the job. I don’t think changing my environment was the answer it was changing something in me, but at the time I didn’t know what that was and I was too tired to think about it. I want to avoid getting this tired again and fully understand why that happened. Why was I so tired. Was it the perception of events around me that got me tired? Or is there truth in the idea that being an empath means you take on others energies and perhaps N’s chasing of money and property immediately after arriving here was such a low vibration it dragged me down? I do not want to blame him to bring myself comfort, but I do believe he exhausted me in some way, and I allowed it to happen for some reason… Or maybe it has nothing to do with him and my car getting stolen and incompatibility with my new coworkers was the problem that I brought home, negativity.

not lazy Seaturtle