Dear Paradoxy,

I forgive them, but I will forever hate them.

This is a contradiction in itself. If you forgive someone, you cannot hate them.

It’s okay to forgive your parents, but before you do that, you would need to acknowledge how they have actually harmed you, and what emotional needs they’ve failed to meet.

I think it is safe to say that they’ve failed to meet all of your basic emotional needs, and if you want to heal, you’d need to work on meeting those needs now, in your adulthood.

There was no real physical abuse or any other form of horrible treatment.

There was a lot of horrible treatment, but it didn’t involve physical, corporal punishment. Telling you that you are a pig and will forever stay a pig is quite a horrible treatment.

Physical body heals after abuse (in most cases), but the emotional wounds don’t heal on their own. Emotional wounds are the ones that stay forever, and that have the potential to destroy our life, unless we do something about them.

If you heal those wounds, you will be able to stop hating your parents, but you will also be able to protect yourself from their abuse.

I will hate them forever, but that will not stop me from doing my duties as their son.

The goal is not to keep hating your parents till the rest of your life. The goal is to heal, so you can love – starting with loving yourself. And another goal is to protect yourself from your parents’ abuse and toxicity (which they are still practicing today).