Dear Laven:

“There is always a brick pileup and no escape“- this reminds me of something I read long ago: how do you escape a prison cell? You stop wanting to escape. It suggests fully accepting of the circumstances that one cannot change, to stop wanting to change that which cannot be changed.

It fits the first part of The Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”.

“I’m completely lost. Devastated. Hopeless. Without peace.“- Peace and Serenity are synonymous. Accept the things you cannot change..?

“Completely still heartbroken over neighbor guy… The distance and silence continue to crush me. I am struggling to accept things“- you said it yourself, “struggling to accept things”.

“Dealing with the heartbreak and loss of 4 long term neighbors of mine who were friendly to me (I’m not used to anyone being friendly towards me, nor talking to me) passing away… First neighbor passed 10 years ago… Finished emptying house today. Today was the last day I probably will ever see him again. He quickly left without any goodbye“- I wish he said goodbye to you. And I wish you were used to people being friendly towards you, and that the new neighbors will be friendly to you.

“Mom’s memory, health and dementia continue to be challenging issue… Mom’s sister and last remaining sibling , has been in and out of the hospital with serious health problems for about a month… Both are depressed about life, aging, and health. Both reminisce about earlier and more capable years. This breaks my heart, and it breaks further knowing that I can’t ‘fix’ it“- aging is definitely challenging for everyone. There’s information online on geriatric depression aka late-life depression (LLD)

From The National library of Medicine (ncbi. nlm. nih. gov): “Depression is one of the most common mood disorders in the late-life population… it increases with age, to reach the peak of 27% in over-85 individuals. Interestingly, the prevalence still increases and reaches the 49% in those living in communities or nursing homes…

“Late-life depression (LLD) can be distinguished according to the age at which the first depression occurred. Early-onset depression (EOD) identifies the persistence or recurrence in old age of a depression previously diagnosed throughout adulthood, while late-onset depression (LOD) represents a depressive disorder developed de novo in old age…

“Depression can be precipitated and perpetuated by chronic medical conditions typical of the aging process… As for younger adults, also for older people psychotherapeutic approaches are to be encouraged, even in the presence of cognitive decline… a brief overview of the principal psychotherapy approaches available for older persons with depression is shortly provided: Problem Adaptation Therapy (PATH)… This kind of therapy puts the focus on strategies personalized on each patient’s needs (i.e. memory and organizational deficits, behavioral/functional limitations…  Engage Therapy… Problem Solving Therapy (PST)... Supportive Therapy… Interpersonal Therapy… problems are identified and understood in the interpersonal context…”

Coming to think about it, the latter part in the quote above can help you: to identify and understand problems in the interpersonal context of your own life. To me, a non-professional (not a therapist o any kind), Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) looks like the perfect therapy for you, Laven:

Psychology today/ interpersonal psychotherapy: “*It addresses interpersonal deficits, including social isolation or involvement in unfulfilling relationships. *It can help patients manage unresolved grief—if the onset of distress is linked to the death of a loved one, either recent or past. *IPT can help with difficult life transitions like retirement, divorce, or a move *IPT is recommended for dealing with interpersonal disputes that emerge from conflicting expectations between partners, family members, close friends, or coworkers”.

Back to your post: “Next month will mark the first year since the tragic passing of a stray cat I fed daily and tried to get a home for years… He wasn’t garbage. I love him deeply.. it breaks my heart daily… Each time I look out the window, I am faced reliving both departures. In August will make the 3 year passing of another furry gentle soul…“- this is “unresolved grief” mentioned in the quote above, in regard to IPT.

“In addition to everything, I have developed memory loss, jumbled speech and thought, brain fog, not being able to focus nor concentrate on many tasks. I can no longer multi-task.. barely can focus on one. I suspect perhaps early dementia… All of these things plus more have left me in shambles.. daily. I am constantly in tears.. I am in tears now as I am typing this.”– in the first online source I quoted from in this post, about Late Life Depression (LLD), it refers to people in their 60s and older as “Late Life”. Perhaps you are in this age group, or close to being in your 60s…? The article talks about the connection between dementia/ age-related cognitive decline and LLD.

Maybe you should see a professional on the matter..?

anita