Dear Anita,

this is what crossed my mind before reading this part: that your attachment to your girlfriend is and has been a positive, healing attachment, hence the increased self-esteem and dissolving of the mask. 

Of course! you are right – I’ve never really put it in these words but yes, feels right the way you described it!

I am visualizing the Alicante postcard and I see.. there in that corner, a young man wearing a polo shirt and a mask. Is that you, Robi, underneath that mask?

 A young, pissed off ( because he’s got e headache ) man wearing a polo shirt…Well.. sounds about right except for the mask. I think the mask has has become more transparent. The headache however is still here. I can’t believe it – I again, after teaching 3 hours today have a headache. It seems like my body is showing me that this job is not good for me. I have to do some thinking.. maybe it really isn’t for me.

Also, what you’ve said about me disconnecting in order to reduce my separation anxiety – yes.. indeed It crossed my mind. I felt it more than I thought about it. I didn’t quite know how to articulate it – but I definitely felt like I’m shielding myself from something. Thank you! You put light on it 🙂

These days I’ve been doing so much thinking… should I stay… should I go… I miss the times I’ve had there – I miss the job I’ve had then… so much confusion. I’m somehow glad I’ll go to the bar tomorrow – I won’t have any space to think at all :))

Thank you for your answer,

Take good care!

Robi