Dear Robi:

“It took me less than 48 hours to feel like I regret leaving Spain to come here. In Spain I had (some) work and (some) privacy. Here, we live with my girlfriend’s mother in a small flat with no doors… My girlfriend was telling me a few days before leaving Spain together – ‘I’m afraid the moment we touch down you’ll start hating it again…’…. leaving Warsaw because I didn’t want to be here anymore, and after 3 months come back here because I didn’t want to be there anymore… I feel like I’m missing something. There is something I don’t see.. I don’t quite see the bigger picture. Of course, I could always ask my previous landlord if I could have my old room back and go back to live in Alicante.. which I’ve been considering these days. All this starts to look more and more.. like a game of ping-pong”-

– My easy “answer” or suggestion would be: yes, Robi, you feel so uncomfortable, so go back to Alicante, and maybe you will feel comfortable there! But this answer will keep the ping-pong game going. This is not what growing up- becoming adult is about: it’s about the bigger picture= enduring discomfort and becoming more of a quality person as a result, more of .. a quality adult.

At this time, in your situation and quest to adult, I suggest that you remove your focus from your own discomfort (and quest for comfort) and focus on the comfort of your girlfriend and her mother. Try to make them feel comfortable. Say and do what will promote their comfort. Do that and let me know how it feels for you, will you?

anita