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Dear Kshitij:
I decided to reply this evening because if I reply tomorrow, that would be after your session with your therapist. So, before your session, my input is that I believe that you do need professional help with your depression.
My understanding of depression, as well as intrusive thoughts, is that your brain is in the chemical habit (neurotransmitters secreted in the brain, hormones secreted into the blood) of depression and intrusive thoughts. To change this habit, it’d take a serious commitment to a new habit: a new daily routine of physical exercise, mindfulness-guided meditations, Tai Chi, and/ or yoga, etc. If you don’t have the ability to embark on such a daily routine, then anti-depressants that are effective at relieving depression and obsessive/ intrusive thinking is your best bet, not for a lifetime, but for a while, so to take the edge of the distress, giving you the relief that you need.
I hope you address possible solutions, including (temporary) psychiatric drugs with the therapist tomorrow!
anita