Dear Paradoxy,

I find the seduction part very difficult to believe

How come? She has a seductive vibe, doesn’t she? (and she contributes to that vibe by posting sexy pix, wearing sexy clothes etc). Why would it be hard to believe?

but what does that have to do with him fueling the fight between us?

He is not fueling fights. She started interrogating him after she stole your chat. She saw that you wrote a song for a girl in your class. And she asked him about that girl, and he might have told her that you are interested in her:

recently when B was talking to him again after reading our conversation, he told her that I was interested in someone, when I actually wasn’t,

But even if he didn’t tell her, she would have concluded it herself, because if someone writes a song for a girl, or is inspired by a girl, it would be logical to assume they are interested in her. So even if he told her “no, he is not interested, she just inspired him to write a song” – do you think she would have believed him? Of course not! If there is the slightest possibility that she can accuse you, she will.

So who is fueling those fights? She, by having stolen your chat and interrogating him about it, and seeking any opportunity to accuse you.

We already broke up so if he was interested in her, then talk about each other instead of talking about things that aren’t even true about me.

Haha, that’s not how things works with a narcissist. She was after you – that’s why she stole the chat in the first place. They started communicating because she started interrogating him about you and about the contents of the chat. So you were her target from the start. How would you not be the main topic of their discussion, at least in the beginning?

And no, I did not tell him to not communicate with her because whoever she entertains is none of my business, nor do I care. I just want my money and I will be on my way.

Okay, you didn’t ask him not to talk to her. And their conversation started by him defending himself to her. Don’t forget that. She was accusing him too of things, and again, every normal person starts defending themselves, specially if they are faced with unjust accusations. So she got him there – she pulled him into the conversation and got him to react. And from then on, she might have become all sweet and flirty with him, and he started changing his opinion about her…

I just want my money and I will be on my way.

I hope this is true, Paradoxy. I hope you’ve realized that there isn’t even a 1% chance of her changing and becoming a different person.

Yes but she is also accusing me of cheating and etc, and that theory only came about cause of the misunderstandings that the guy created.

No, that theory came from the chat she stole, and you having written a song for a girl.

He was the one who even suggested that I ignore her entirely so what is the logic behind him fueling the fights?

She pulled him in, by accusing him and making him defend herself. And then she switched up her tactics and became all sweet, presenting herself as your victim. Your friend was right in the beginning – before he started communicating with her. He saw it was best to ignore her. But then she managed to manipulate him and change his opinion of her. She messed up with his head (and his feelings), probably.

I can.

Good – then do that. I am sure she won’t like it, and will try to accuse you of being heartless etc etc. But try to stay strong, nevertheless, because you know that all those are manipulation tactics and she is using it to get what she wants from you.

 I could say that, but she won’t agree to it. What then?

Then don’t say it. And besides, I’ve realized it might not even be a good idea, because she might leave only 10 dollars on her account, and then still make you accompany her, and then make a fool of you. Or just use the time spent together to start lure you back in. So no, that wasn’t a good idea. Better be firm with her and attempt as few meetings as possible.

Idk, I still don’t like the idea of trusting neither of them. I think it is just better to not trust anyone at all because at this point idk who can be trusted or not.

Yes, better not to trust either of them, specially because he might be “corrupted” by being in touch with her and being sold her version of the story. And so he might be giving her information about you, telling her what you said etc. So at this point, he is not to be trusted, unfortunately.

Still, I would like to differentiate between him and her, because as I said, they are not the same category of people. She is malevolent, he isn’t. And your relationship (between you and your guy friend) might be worth repairing. So you might want to ask him a few questions, like “I’ve heard you were speaking to B… and that you’ve become quite good friends”. Like try to snoop out a little, but diplomatically, without saying too much. I don’t know. I am not sure about it either.

But what I know is that they shouldn’t be treated the same – they are not the same kind of people, and if there is a chance in the future to repair the relationship, it might be worth it. Keeping things in the dark, keeping secrets, and letting the friendship slip away is probably not what you want. But for now, perhaps it’s better to pretend you know nothing. And indeed keep secrets from him, because he might not be a safe person to confide in at this point.