Dear Harry:

“I don’t kiss her back throughout all of this as I know it’s wrong, but I pull her on top of me and we begin to have sex“- it’s interesting how you equated kissing with being emotional, yet having sex was purely physical and instinctual. Not surprising, as this is how it is in the animal world, and humans are animals. Most women (I think) tend to experience having sex as something personal and emotional; most men- like other mammalian males- tend to experience having sex as something strictly physical and instinctual.

“This feels like a fairy tale“- real life is not a fairy tale, is it. Not outside our imaginations.

“I tell the Australian girl. She’s devastated…  Last weekend I realise I hadn’t told her the full truth and felt intense guilt again and told her“- you shouldn’t have, definitely not the 2nd time. It may have temporarily  relieved you from guilt, but it hurt her.

“We wake up Monday morning and suddenly, I don’t feel the same as I did before… I overthink a lot… Do you know what I can do?“- think it, but don’t overthink it. The more you overthink, the more you over-feel badly and then spread the misery around (Ex., confessing to her). Think effectively, that is, look for real solutions to real problems.

Did you ever try to hold water in your hands, to keep water in your hands? Doesn’t work, does it? Same with keeping emotions in your mind and heart. Relax your mind, and emotions will settle; overthink and stress, and your emotions go haywire.

anita